Story of the Exploding Pope

Sometimes fact can be stranger than fiction but what I'm about to tell you is that fact can also be the same as fiction.

If you read a sample of "Shadow's Prisoners" and thought I made up the part of the "Swiss Guard" and Pope Pius XII botched embalming, well, think again because I didn't concoct that gem of a story. No, dear readers, that actually happened and here is the background behind the incident.

But first, if you have a weak stomach or if you are in the middle of eating anything, stop! Do not read further, this story is not for you.

Pope Pius XII reigned way back in my parents and grandparents eras, so many of yous may not remember this fellow. He had a personal doctor, who many believed had "questionable skills and no discretion." In other words, he was a wacko doctor. The doctors name was Riccardo Galeazzi-Lisi, or Dick for short. Dick had an annoying habit of  bugging Pius about getting embalmed but Pius didn't believe in embalming. He wanted to keep all his organs and crap after he died.

Pius grew sick and tired of Dick hounding him about the matter so he may have said, "Yea, yea, do the process... just stop bugging me about it." Many years later when Pius fell ill and died, Dick made himself available to embalm the body. Dick said he had discovered a new method of embalming which he wanted to use for the dead body. Dick's method entailed putting the body in a large plastic bag filled with herbs, spices, and resins. He claimed it was the same process in which Jesus Christ's body was preserved. (Now how the hell did he know what happened two thousand years ago in a cave, in the middle of nowhere?)

You should know that the heat in the castle where Pius's body was held was extreme. The heat with a dead body encased in an airtight plastic bag increased decomposition quickly. The body had to be dressed again before it was "shown." While it was dressed in Pope clothes (heavy robes and all) and put in a coffin for the trip to Rome for the funeral at St. Peter's Basilica, a rumbling noise and "bang" was head coming from within the coffin- Pius's chest cavity had exploded from built up gasses. The body was treated two more times but body parts began to detach and the skin turned green, then black-- all within four days of his death. Swiss guards, standing watch at the viewing fainted from the stench.

I couldn't make this up if I wanted.